Have you ever been told "this hurts me more than you?", I used to hate hate hate that phrase, especially when it came down to discipling. Really, you hurt more than me? I'm pretty sure that was my behind your hand just landed on! Anyway, I went up to VA to see my momma & have some de-stress time last Monday, well this didn't go as planned. Monday night Saige started getting a little cranky & warm and by Tuesday I knew she was sick because she had a low grade fever & cranky. It got progressively worse until her fever hit high 104* Tuesday night, at which point we took her to the ER. How incredibly scary, my poor baby was sick & I didn't know what was causing it because I knew it wasn't a cold. She had to be cathed for a urine sample, rectal temperature, suppository for tylenol, & screamed through all of this, who wouldn't? It broke my heart to see her have to be held down, to watch her scream & cry and I couldn't do anything to help soothe her until after she endured all of that.
She was diagnosed with a UTI & admitted to the hospital, for time unknown. We ended up being there about 2.5 days or so, but we constantly were playing our cards based on her fever, & how she tolerated her medicine. The hospital was a very trying time for us & I'm so glad my mom could be there but sad that Cam couldn't. Saige got little rest because they kept coming in to do vitals or push meds every time I got her calmed down or asleep. I held my cool, but my heart was breaking inside. I would take all of that from her in a heartbeat if I could. I can't say physically it hurt me more to watch her go through this, but emotionally it was tiring, draining & broke me more than I can ever explain. I wonder, if she'll remember any of this? Will she be skeptical when someone other than family takes her diaper off? I can already see she hates having her ears checked because of them harassing them so much. The same goes with the syringe when its time to take medicine because of the tylenol & them forcing that down her throat.
Even more good news (read with sarcasm), is that there is at least one more catheter experience in her near future. I can't do that appointment alone, so hopefully Cam can get off.
So because of our extended stay in the hospital, I didn't get to visit with anyone while in VA nor did I get done the 3 things I wanted & sort of needed to. I've got family acting all butthurt because we didn't tell anyone I was in town, & then kept from them that Saige was in the hospital until later. Its not like we were sneaking into VA, and we didn't want anyone up at the hospital because 1. we weren't sure how long we would be there, 2. because we were sharing a room, 3. I didn't want visitors, I didn't want the same questions over & over, I didn't want to constantly fight a break down. So sorry if you're feelings were/are hurt, but lets not take things so personally please... thanks.
I'm so sorry about Little Miss Saige - when Jack was born he had to have IV antibiotics "in case" he had an infection. They didn't tell me about the IV until he was wheeled into the room with a huge protective splint on his arm. The Hep-lock kept falling out, they couldn't find a vein, he would rip it out, etc. It killed me to see my newborn like this - so I can relate to how you felt about Saige. Lots of love.
ReplyDeleteI'm sad I didn't get to see you, but I absolutely understood 110%. I'm so glad she's better, but my heart was breaking for you as you were sending me updates. I wish there was something I could have done.
ReplyDeleteI think it's safe to say she won't remember this experience, but I could be wrong.
I'm even more sorry that people aren't being understanding about you not jumping to "hang out" when your baby was in the hospital. ♥